Regardless of whether you feel that the holidays in general, and valentine’s day in particular, are overly commercialized, you most likely will disappoint if instead of a gift, you give your beloved a rant about the evils of commercialism. Why not get with the spirit of the day? Just because everyone else is expressing their admiration for their beloved in the form of a gift on this day, doesn’t mean joining in will diminish you in some way.

Let’s start with the most traditional. There’s the classic heart-shaped greeting card. It has been done to death, sure. Look around though. Demand for these is such that you may well be surprised at the creativity and freshness of some of the options available to you. Given how many people express their affection this way, it shouldn’t be a surprise that teams of designers dedicate a great deal of time and energy coming up with clever ones. You might find something suitable.

Next up, flowers. Just because it’s typical for him to give her flowers, doesn’t mean it can’t or shouldn’t be done, nor does it mean that the effect will be diluted. Remember, people have been falling in love since time immemorial, and falling in love wasn’t any less startling and thrilling for you, just because Antony and Cleopatra had already done so a couple thousand years ago. You can opt for the minimalist approach—a single long-stem rose; the traditional approach—a dozen or more roses, typically red, but the field’s wide open; the extravagant approach—peppering your home or apartment with roses, and/or a bath in rose petals. Then there are more exotic options. There are florists specializing in more creative approaches, often done by arranging wildflowers. If you have a wild streak, seek these merchants out.

Don’t assume just because it’s typical for him to give her flowers that she can’t give him flowers. Don’t have them delivered to the pub in front of his mates, it might embarrass him and make him feel less manly. However, he might find it utterly charming and romantic to find a flower or flower arrangement waiting for him in the kitchen—or the bedroom. Especially the bedroom, as it hints toward the kind of valentine gifts he’s most likely hoping for.

A category of valentine gifts sure to please is the dream date. Is there a romantic dinner, or perhaps a night at the theatre that you two have been putting off for a while because you’ve just been too busy, or because little things keep coming up? You may want to keep your options open as to the exact date, but chances are if your beloved is a theatre buff you don’t go to the theatre enough, or if he or she is a music buff, you don’t hear enough music.

This dream date, of course, should include dinner. Indulge yourself. Go somewhere you both adore, or somewhere you’ve always wanted to try but sits just outside your budget. And order whatever is most appealing. Incidentally, oysters are reputed to be an aphrodisiac.